As AI tools become more common in the coaching space, it’s worth asking what coaching really is. This article explores why human leadership coaching is more than simply asking questions, and why empathy, challenge and genuine human connection remain at the heart of meaningful change.
AI Robots are taking over the world…
No, actually they’re not. Well, not unless people really are as dumb as certain parts of social media would have us believe…
Like so many aspects of work, the use of AI in the coaching sector is a huge area of interest. It’s easy to see why that would be, when you consider the time and expense of hiring a leadership or executive coach. I don’t think I’m in danger of losing my clients to a chatbot just yet however. Not that I’m some old luddite, hoping for the good old days and sticking my head firmly in the sand – in fact just the opposite, because…
- I have a mission, which brought me into coaching – this is to help make people’s lives better – and to do that through meaningful and authentic human contact and communication.
- There is no AI model that can truly replicate the genuine empathy and rapport I am able to generate with a client in a coaching session – and that includes when I’m coaching online. In fact, recent examples of AI trying to be ’empathic’ have led to sometimes catastrophic consequences for individuals.
The problem with AI Coaching is that there’s coaching – and there’s coaching…
So many people view coaching as the ability to ask questions and help people find solutions – and yes, at its most basic level, that’s not incorrect. But that really is only a small part of the picture.
So many people view coaching as the ability to ask questions and help people find solutions – and yes, at its most basic level, that’s not incorrect. But that really is only a small part of the picture.
Here’s a phrase I use on my coaching skills courses:
Questions are like calories and politicians – they’re not all created equal and some are more helpful to you than others!
So simply sitting in front of someone and firing questions at them and watching them squirm is not coaching. In fact it’s more akin to an abuse of power.
Real coaching, brings what I call ‘challenge with a small ‘c” – and is based on human empathy and connection.
Here’s an anonymised example of an experience I have regularly with my coaching clients.
CLIENT: ‘It’s just that I keep coming back to this issue. It’s so frustrating. I’m trying my best, but it’s just a battle… [pause]
ME: Like a fight? Sounds exhausting…
CLIENT: I just don’t know how long I can carry on like this. The pace, the conflict…
ME: So then what?
CLIENT: [Silence…]
…and this silence is where the real transformation happens. The realisation, not from question after question, but that another human being has recognised an underlying emotion and carefully helped to name it. Bring it out into the open. Helping to see what the person already, either consciously or unconsciously, knew was there.
But just as importantly doing so from a place of caring and genuine compassion.
CLIENT: ‘It’s just that I keep coming back to this issue. It’s so frustrating. I’m trying my best, but it’s just a battle… [pause]
ME: Like a fight? Sounds exhausting…
CLIENT: I just don’t know how long I can carry on like this. The pace, the conflict…
ME: So then what?
CLIENT: [Silence…]
…and this silence is where the real transformation happens. The realisation, not from question after question, but that another human being has recognised an underlying emotion and carefully helped to name it. Bring it out into the open. Helping to see what the person already, either consciously or unconsciously, knew was there.
But just as importantly doing so from a place of caring and genuine compassion.
The coach ‘holding the space’ – gently and with care.
Not just firing out question after question.
I call it ‘stepping forward shoulder to shoulder‘ with my clients. That’s what a coaching relationship is really about. It’s not a pseudo therapy, or ‘truth-telling’ session – it’s a dynamic, powerful process. Above all a human one.
It’s rare for leaders to have either:
I call it ‘stepping forward shoulder to shoulder‘ with my clients. That’s what a coaching relationship is really about. It’s not a pseudo therapy, or ‘truth-telling’ session – it’s a dynamic, powerful process. Above all a human one.
It’s rare for leaders to have either:
- Protected time to explore and reflect on their situation
- A safe, confidential sounding board, where they can say whatever is on their mind, with no fear of backlash, judgement or repercussions.
So yes, coaching comes at a cost for the client – both financially and time-wise – but in terms of investment, it brings exponential returns. Much more than reading through a list of questions would ever give.
Consider how long you spend worrying about potential or actual problems – the lack of productivity and stasis because any decision you’re faced with feels like the wrong one. What price could you put on the freedom to step forward and make clear decisions as you? Your true authentic self?
Consider how long you spend worrying about potential or actual problems – the lack of productivity and stasis because any decision you’re faced with feels like the wrong one. What price could you put on the freedom to step forward and make clear decisions as you? Your true authentic self?
Coaching and Training at BrightBird
At BrightBird, our coaching and training is practical and very human.
It’s about real conversations, real challenges and meaningful progress.
If you’re curious about our coaching and training support, even if you’re not sure what you’re quite looking for yet, then check out the support we offer your sector, or click the link to book an informal, no-obligation chat.
If you’re curious about our coaching and training support, even if you’re not sure what you’re quite looking for yet, then check out the support we offer your sector, or click the link to book an informal, no-obligation chat.
