Goals
Top Tips For Setting Goals That Work...
Top Tips For Setting Goals That Work...
By Karen Amos
So you’ve been all fired up to make that change, but reality’s dawning… the nights are long, you’re tired, you've a stack of work to do, there are at least 2 new cat videos on facebook that need watching…
If you’re struggling to make that change, here are some tips on how to set goals that stick:
Break goals down – Goals can seem overwhelming, so go ahead and have that big goal to work towards, but then break it down into small, attainable steps, so you can see your progress and give yourself a pat on the back. You wouldn’t set a goal of running a marathon this year, then set out to run 26 miles the next day would you? So apply the same logic to all of your goals.
Habits – As above, the secret to success isn’t in making huge, drastic steps. Rather, it’s in setting better habits. Habits are no more than small actions made regularly and consistently. If you’ve set yourself a goal to get a better work-life balance, then set a reminder for the time each day that you’ll leave work and leave your laptop in its case when you’re at home. If you want to lose weight, set yourself a number of alcohol-free days each week. Once you’ve mastered one thing, you’ll be ready to move onto adding another good habit. So ask yourself, ‘In order to achieve my goal, what habits do I need to adopt?’
Quality not quantity – Don’t set too many goals. It’s tempting when we’re feeling motivated to change, to set lots of huge, life-changing goals. Instead, stick to one or two meaningful goals that you can really concentrate on.
Concentrate on the positive – This doesn’t mean being a complete Pollyanna about everything, but instead frame your goals in the positive – i.e. what you ARE going to do, rather than what you’re going to give up. We never really give something up - instead to be successful we have to replace a bad habit with a good one – e.g. ‘I’m going to eat healthy food,’ rather than, ‘I’m giving up chocolate.’ That way you won’t feel like you’re suffering and will focus on the positive impact of your decision.
Own your goals – Never set a goal because you feel you ‘should’, or ‘ought’ to do it. As a coach, this immediately tells me that someone else’s rules are kicking in here. Doing something for someone else is bound to end in failure. Work out what YOU really want instead.
Write goals down – Writing down your goals helps you clarify what you mean, but also gives a sense of commitment on your part. This also allows you to revisit and review your progress. Sounds a bit formal? It can do to some people, but how you record it is up to you. You can set up a word document, use an app, or there are some interesting diaries out there that help you to record your goals and progress.
Tell other people – The simple act of telling someone else your goal brings a whole heap of commitment to what you’re intending to do. No-one likes to lose face, so we’re more likely to make sure it’s the right goal and to follow it through when someone else knows about it. Alternatively, you can enlist an accountability buddy who will work with you on your goal and chivvy you along when times get tough.
Make it enjoyable – There’s absolutely no point in setting a goal that’s going to make you miserable! At the very least, make sure you keep hold of why you’re doing the goal in the first place – this is where writing it down makes all the difference. But again, the key is in framing your goal in positive terms. If your goal is to get fit, then instead of setting yourself some draconian diet regime, why not set your goal to find a new place to walk in the countryside each weekend with the dog and kids?
Track your progress – Devise some sort of system where you can track your progress towards your goals. Weight-loss companies have done this very successfully for years, so take a leaf out of their book and work out a way you can record your successes. This is so easy with technology at our fingertips nowadays, or even just writing down a weekly success chart. This will help you keep going when ‘life’ gets in the way and you don’t feel like carrying on.
One lapse doesn’t spell disaster – We all lapse from our good habits and routines from time to time. Having a blow-out and eating your body weight in chocolate one day (or is that just me?! :D ) doesn’t mean your whole weight-loss goal is lost. Tomorrow’s a new day and you can just pick up where you left off. We’re often more resolute after that happens anyway, so put the lapses behind you and plough ahead!
Be nice to yourself – As with the tip above – don’t beat yourself up about this. You’re taking the right steps for the right reasons, so remember to reward and praise yourself for your achievements. And remember to accept compliments from others too – it really does make a difference!
Do it NOW! - Seize the day! There will never be a perfect time to start your new goal, so just get on with it. Don't give yourself excuses why you should wait until tomorrow - Act now and you'll have taken the first small, but significant step!
Good Luck and let us know if you have any tips to share…
Karen Amos is the founder and owner of BrightBird Coaching & Training. She is a qualified Executive and Professional Development coach and trainer, working with organisations and businesses to get the best out of leaders and teams.
If you’d like to know more about BrightBird’s professional development services and how we can help you and your business, school or organisation, please check out our website at www.bright-bird.co.uk, or email info@bright-bird.co.uk
Struggling with your resolutions or goals? This could be the reason...
Struggling with your resolutions or goals? This could be the reason...
By Karen Amos
As with my earlier post this week on New Year Resolutions, lots of people are talking about re-setting their work-life balance at the moment. It seems having a break over the holiday period has given people some perspective on the stress they were experiencing last year.
Reaching a personal ‘Pain Point’ usually motivates us to want to make a change. The problem is that we don’t always work on the right issue. Some things to remember are:
- We need to focus on what we are going to do to change things, rather than what we aren't going to do. (Remember, we get what we focus on, so if we focus on what we don't want, we'll get more of that!)
- We need to work on the problem, not the symptoms. To do this, we need to find the root cause.
- Also, we need to set the right conditions for change. There’s no point expecting a major life change in one area, if everything else we do remains exactly the same.
As an example, I realised recently that I've stopped doing a lot of creative things this last couple of years, particularly drawing and watercolour painting. Work, business and life in general just got in the way. Doing some quick doodling and sketching the other day, I realised how much this brings to me and that I miss having a creative element in my life.
On reflection, I worked out that the root cause of the problem wasn't really lack of time, but how I was using the time I had. Looking back I realised I used to do so many creative things, despite working an often ridiculous number of hours in management positions in addition to being a carer for an elderly relative. Working out what had changed, I had the uncomfortable realisation that since that time, I had discovered social media! The time I spent on social media now, doing such vital tasks as watching never-ending dog and cat videos, takes up much of my ‘spare’ time. (Obviously, checking BrightBird social media accounts don’t apply, so feel free to carry on with that! ;) )
If I was at all serious about making this change, I needed to tackle this, meaning that I’d need to change my habits around social media, in order to fit in the things I really wanted to do. My steps so far include:
- Planning in time in my diary for painting at least once a fortnight.
- Planning in times I will check my social media accounts.
- Being clear about what I’m checking and for how long.
- Not taking my phone into the bedroom to break the habit of social media being always there at the start and end of each day.
- Making sure I’ve a range of other reading materials at hand, so I don’t automatically reach for my phone and start scrolling.
I’ll review this in a week or so and see how I’m getting on, but it’s interesting to see that only one of these steps actually involves the act of painting itself. Had I not identified the root cause of the issue, it’s unlikely I’d ever have picked up my paint brush again!
Hopefully, this has given you some tips on being more successful with your own goals. Do let us know how you get on!
Karen Amos is the founder and owner of BrightBird Coaching & Training. She is a qualified Executive and Professional Development coach and trainer, working with organisations and businesses to get the best out of leaders and teams.
If you’d like to know more about BrightBird’s professional development services and how we can help you and your business, school or organisation, please check out our website at www.bright-bird.co.uk, or email info@bright-bird.co.uk
New Year - To resolve, or not to resolve - that is the question...
New Year - To resolve, or not to resolve - that is the question...
By Karen Amos
Well it’s that time of year again! Social media has been awash with New Year posts and I have to admit, even as a coach, I get a bit jaded with all this ‘New Year – New You’ malarkey.
So… amidst all the opinions, the question remains, ‘Is New Year a good time for Resolutions,’ and should we be doing them anyway? My opinion is an unequivocal – ‘If you want…!’ Yes, that’s right, I’m not going to advocate either way, because do you know what? - If you’re having to force yourself to make a life change it’s highly unlikely to work. So don’t bother, save yourself time/money/guilt [delete as appropriate] and carry on regardless.
On a positive note, New Year can be an excellent time for gaining motivation to change. Most people are feeling the need to de-tox after over-indulging over the holiday period and are feeling more rested and motivated. There’s also a sense of being ready for a new start for lots of people. If this is how you feel – GO FOR IT! Often we need a bit of pain (e.g. The awful reality of tight waistbands and admitting all our clothes haven’t really shrunk in the wash…) to give us the fillip we need to make change.
Perhaps we should change our language and avoid the term ‘resolution’. After all, what we’re usually talking about is a long-term change in our habits. When we use the term ‘resolution’, we usually couch this in terms of a negative – i.e. We will ‘STOP’ or ‘GIVE UP’ something. Actually, that approach rarely works, as we just end up obsessing about the thing we’re trying to avoid. Ever heard the phrases, ‘You get what you focus on,’ and, ‘What you resist, persists’? On a very basic level, this means that if you try to stop doing something, you only bring it to your attention more – I’m sure my fellow chocaholics will know this feeling well…
Instead, we need to drill down to what we really DO want. i.e. Do we really want to stop eating chocolate, or do we want to feel fitter and more confident physically? In this case, chocolate is only one part of the issue – what we really need to do for success is to work out what steps we need to take to attain the fitness. If this is less rewarding than the chocolate, then you’re going to be in for a lot of disappointment. The key is to build in a tangible goal with a set of positive habits (Habits being small actions you do regularly) that will lead you to the positive life you’re choosing. (More on this in a forthcoming post).
If your thing is more related to work-life balance in the coming year for example, build in what you ARE going to do, rather than what you AREN'T. Again, I'll post more on this in the next few days.
So if you’ve set a resolution or goal, then good luck with that. If you can’t be bothered, then good luck too – you’ll know best when you need to make a change. In any event, here’s to a positive and productive 2019 for everyone!
Karen Amos is the founder and owner of BrightBird Coaching & Training. She is a qualified Executive and Professional Development coach and trainer, working with organisations and businesses to get the best out of leaders and teams.
If you’d like to know more about BrightBird’s professional development services and how we can help you and your business, school or organisation, please check out our website at www.bright-bird.co.uk, or email info@bright-bird.co.uk